Can we apply this friendship to our lives? More specific, can we apply this to the pain we feel in our lives? Hold that thought...
If I asked the question "Who out there is living with some sort of personal pain?" whose hand would not be raised?
So, assume all hands were raised, look around. Some of us suffer physically. Some mentally. Some spiritually. Some emotionally.
If we think about it, in our pain, we have other things in common. We are all alive. We are all grieving our pain in some way, yet we are all working on relieving that pain or trying to make sense of it. But there are differences. Some of us are down right smart from researching pain. Some are just beginning, though. Some have learned to overcome areas of pain and others have given in, yet survive. Whatever....the common thing is we are all learning something!
But we are all working from differing spectrums, so to speak. Still holding on to the doctor friends example? You will get it.
Being individuals with our own very personal nerves involved with pain, we each handle pain differently. Some are, like their personalities, gentle. Some are, like their general mindset, determined. Some are, honestly, exhausted.
So when we look at another person's pain, why do we think we can fully understand them or expect them to fully understand us?
Would it not be better to meet on common ground? And lower our defensive tendencies a bit?
We are all in pain. We will all screw up dealing with others in pain. Others will screw up dealing with us in our own pain. It's just a matter of time.
Whether we suffer from depression, migraines, PTSD, church phobia, self hatred, broken arm, slipped disc, toothache, or hangnails, consider that we are all connected in this journey.
When I sympathize with your depression from the pain in my hangnail, we may not be able to relate deeply, but if we soften our expectation of being totally understood, and turn our thoughts toward each other to extend what comfort we can to ease that pain, would that not bring about something good from our pain? It may be small, but it is good...right?
And if we receive that sympathy without judging the other persons level of understanding our own pain, just receive it, will not a glimmer of good shine to encourage us? It may be a little encouragement...but it is good too....right?
If each of us find a little good, and give a little good, will it make a difference? Could it be the beginning of a friendship?
"You do not fully understand brain surgery," said the brain surgeon.
"You do not fully understand proctology," said the proctologist.
"But I know you love helping people," said the brain surgeon.
"And I know you do too," said the proctologist.
Then they finished their coffee, shook hands, smiled at each other and realized even opposite ends of the spectrum were not as far apart as they thought.
